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The editors at Best Computer Science Degrees decided to research the topic of:
The Geek's Guide to Becoming an Uber-Geek
Is an uber-geek a nerd? Is an uber-nerd a geek? Is every geek an uber-geek if he's blogging in the forest and no one is around to read it? All of these are difficult questions for a geek looking to pimp his drives, but fret not: We're happy to outline some surefire ways to rise to the next echelon of geekhood.
What's in Your Messenger Bag?
- Geek | Uber-Geek
- iPad 3 | iPad Mini black-market prototype
- Pen | Smartpen
- Weezer CD | Rivers CuomoTM horn-rimmed glasses
- The Fifth Element screenprint T-shirt | The Fifth Element sarcophagus pencil case
- Hill Valley courthouse keychain, pictured as it appears in Back to the Future, Gremlins and an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer | Hill Valley Key to the City
- Dune, novel | Dune strategy board game
How Uber Is Your Geek-itude?
- Geek Uber-Geek
- Must use a smartphone for all directions | Uses Apple Maps no matter how many times the directions fail
- 20/40 vision | 20/80 vision
- "World of Warcraft" at an LAN gaming center | "Artemis" LAN party hosted in a rebuilt "Star Trek" bridge, a.k.a. your living room
- Proposing marriage at a Comic-Con convention | Proposing marriage at a Comic-Con convention in Super Mario outfits
- Video game designer | Board game designer
- Comic book enthusiast | Comic book publisher
- Listens to techno music | Only listens to German techno music for maximum "uber"
- Favorite Star Trek series: Deep Space 9 | Favorite Star Trek series: The Original Series. Really.
- Favorite Food: Frozen pizza | Favorite Food: MREs
- Favorite Song: DJ Broken High's "I'm a Techno Geek" | His own songs, riffed on a Beat Thang Mobile Production Studio, a la Daft Punk in Tron: Legacy
- Loves Arrested Development | Suffers from arrested development
- Plays a bass with a Geiger Counter bit-crusher | Plays a Hymnotron, instrument for spiritual music/binary math enthusiasts
- Watches illegally downloaded movies on a 2560x1440-resolution 27" iMac screen| Watches illegally downloaded movies on an 8-bit video wall
- Favorite Album: Artificial Intelligence, compilation of the intelligent techno genre | Favorite Album: Spock's Beard concept album Snow, about an albino psychic with a pack of messianic devotees
Who Thinks You're Cool?
- Geek Uber-Geek
- Peter Gibbons from Office Space | Milton Waddams from Office Space
- Shawn Fanning, Napster pioneer | Bram Cohen, BitTorrent pioneer
- Screenprinters, who want you to wear their T-shirts | Screenprinted T-shirts, which want you to wear them
- Jeff Goldblum: Jurassic Park, Independence Day | Wil Wheaton: Redditor and Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation
- Tim Burton: Edward Scissorhands, Batman film series | Joss Whedon: Firefly, Buffy, Alien Resurrection, nicknamed "Nerd Jesus" - need we go on?
DOs and DON'Ts along the Road to Uber-Geekdom
- Do: Focus on your Major League Gaming career
- Don't: Date anyone objectively good-looking
- Do: Spend more time on Reddit
- Don't: Give up on your Back to the Future Part IV fan flick
- Do: Go to bars for the trivia nights
- Don't: Go to bars for the music, because the juke box's selection is execrable
- Do: Host a Will Ferrell costume party
- Don't: Wear a Blades of Glory costume - you're not a nerd
Follow these tips and in no time you'll be uber-geeksome. (Geek-handsome? Geek-awesome? Works either way.) Best of luck on your journey to the motherboard of uber-geekdom.
